Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Smackdown Xplosion: 9/5: 48 hours from Extreme Rules
Smackdown Spin!
Second Card: 9/5: 48 hours from Extreme Rules
This is it. The revolutionary idea from Vince McMahon. The Smackdown Spin!
There will be 8 competitors: 4 from New Event Mafia (Sting, Kevin Nash, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas) and 4 competitors from The People’s Alliance (Gary Williams, Edge, John Cena, and AJ Styles) that will spin the roulette and pick the match for Rock vs. Kurt Angle at Extreme Rules for the TNA title.
Tune in to Smackdown Xplosion to see what kind of stipulation(s) the Smackdown GM and the Olympic Gold Medalist will fight with.
Joey Styles (in ring): Welcome to Smackdown Xplosion! I’m in the ring with 4 members from New Main Event, Sting, Kevin Nash, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas, who are representing Kurt Angle, and 4 members from the People’s Alliance, “Wildman” Gary Williams, “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, “The Doctor Of Thuganomics” John Cena, and the Phenomenal AJ Styles!
(Crowd cheers)
Styles: So, here I have a roulette (points to roulette). There are 8 matches; a Hangman’s Horror match, a two-out-of-three falls match, a Crazy 8 match, a Triple Cage match, a Final Wars Brawl, a Thundercage match, an Electrified Cage match…
(Crowd roars; chant, “Shock Angle!” “Shock Angle!”)
Styles: At last, but not least, a Taipei Deathmactttttttttttttttttttttttth! There will be a tournament tonight to determine the match type for Angle vs. Rock.
(Crowd erupts into a giant cheer of “E-C-W!”)
Styles: The first person to roll will be AJ Styles for The Rock.
(AJ Styles spins the roulette)
AJ: I got the Crazy 8 match!
Styles: The Crazy 8 match is a wrestling match that will use the Elevation X, one side of the steel cage, two trampolines, and rope swings. Not exactly Kurt Angle’s cup of tea, nor is it the Rock’s, but this match is sure to main event Extreme Rules.
Styles: Now spinning for Angle… Sting!
(Sting spins the roulette)
Sting: I have the Taipei Deathmatch.
(Crowd cheers)
Styles: The Taipei Deathmatch is a match originated from ECW. In this match, both competitors’ hands are wrapped in tape, then covered with glue and broken glass. This match could also be considered a main event for Sunday.
Styles: Now…it’s John Cena’s turn to spin the roulette.
(Cena spins the roulette)
Cena: I have the Final Wars Brawl.
Styles: For those of you that don’t know already, the Final Wars Brawl starts out with Angle and our General Manager in a steel cage for 30 minutes. After those 30 minutes are up, two wrestlers, one helping the Rock, one helping Angle, will enter the cage. Every five minutes, two other competitors will enter the cage.
Styles: Kevin Nash is now going to choose his match by spinning the roulette.
(Nash spins the roulette)
Nash: I have…the Electrified Cage.
(Crowd chants, “Shock Angle!” “Shock Angle”)
Styles: The Electrified cage a variation of the steel cage…electrocuted. Every 30 seconds, the electricity is turned on, and then turned off after it’s been on for 30 seconds. Wait another 30 seconds, and the cage will be electrocuted again.
Styles: Spinning the roulette for The Rock is Edge!
(Edge spins the roulette)
Edge: I have picked the Thundercage.
Styles: Straight from WCW, the Thundercage is a structure of steel enclosing the ring, and the sides curve in to prevent escape. The only way to win is to have a “teriminator” that will throw in the towel for you.
Styles: Rolling for Angle…Shelton Benjaminnnnnn!
(Benjamin rolls the roulette)
Benjamin: I have the Hangman’s Horror match.
Styles: That match is a bit more extreme than most, as it involves hanging your opponent with a dog collar until they are unconscious.
Styles: The “Wildman” Gary Williams is now spinning for The Rock.
(Williams spins the roulette)
Williams: I have the Triple Cage match.
Styles: The Triple Cage match is a match with three cages stacked on top of each other, with each cage getting smaller as the wrestlers get up higher in altitude. The TNA World Heavyweight Championship is suspended above the third cage at the top, and to win the match, one of the competitors must grab the title.
Styles: The last match is a two-out-of-three falls match that Charlie Haas will fight for. The first wrestler to get two pinfalls is declared the winner.
Styles: Now, here are the matches each wrestler will fight for, and the tournament layout.
· Kevin Nash: Electrified Cage
· Sting: Tapei Deathmatch
· Gary Williams: Triple Cage
· Shelton Benjamin: Hangman’s Horror
· Charlie Haas: Two out of Three Falls
· Edge: Thundercage
· John Cena: Final Wars Brawl
· AJ Styles: Crazy 8 match
Layout:
John Cena vs. Kevin Nash--------- (Tuxedo match)
Gary Williams vs. Sting------------
Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin--------------- (Ultimate X match)
AJ Styles vs. Charlie Haas----------------
Styles: And that’s not all! There will be a gauntlet involving The Hardyz, Motor City Machine Guns, Badass Punks, Mexican Suicide, and Religion of ROH in a 5-team gauntlet. We’ll be back in a moment.
(Commercial Break)
Todd Grisham: Weclome back to Smackdown Xplosion! I am here, tonight, with the “Gold Standard”, and quite possibly, the rising star since joining New Event Mafia, Shelton Benjamin.
Grisham: Benjamin, right after this interview, you go head-to-head with the “Rated R Superstar” Edge. Will Angle get electrocuted or hung?
Benjamin: It’s not Angle that will feel pain; it’s that has-been Rock. Everywhere I go, I hear, “Oh, The Rock will lay the smackdown on you!” “Rock could destroy Angle!” “Rock could take the New Event Mafia and stick it straight up your candy-ass!” Tonight, I will prove why I am the Gold Standard, because at the Great American Bash, I challenge the winner of Kurt Angle and The Rock!
Grisham: Now, before you go, how do you feel about the merge?
Benjamin: The merge has definitely raised my career. I am grateful to Angle, but there is only one goal for me; becoming WWE Champion. Besides, that merge shouldn’t have happened, because WWE now has that washed-up RVD.
(Crowd boos)
Benjamin: The only way Van Dam can beat me, is by getting half of the Smackdown roster to beat me up. That’s not a legitimate win!
Grisham: Thank you for your time.
Benjamin: Whatever.
Pick Your Poison Tournament Match: Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin:
Tenay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring…the Rated R Superstar, Edge!
(Edge comes out to “Metalingus”; crowd cheers; Edge enter ring with mic)
Edge: Now I don’t know if you people know, but my opponent is in an Ultimate X match at Extreme Rules against The Amazing, Suicide, and Rey Mysterio.
(Crowd pops for Rey)
Edge: Why don’t we think about this for a second? He has the Ultimate X match for the Intercontinental title, the New Event Mafia that are trying to bring him to the top, you fans that hate his guts, a pissed off Rob Van Dam (I know what that’s like), and his opponent tonight, who would like to destroy Kurt Angle and his band of wussies…me.
(Crowd chants “Edge!” “Edge!” “Edge!” Edge!”)
Edge: So I have a proposal for The Rock; why don’t we let Shelton Benjamin take a rest for the night, and I can…you know…move on to the Ultimate X match, maybe…I dunn-
(Shelton comes out to “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Me (Remix)”)
Benjamin: I’m not giving up my chance to please the Godfather! I don’t care what RVD, you, The Rock, these people, or even my Ultimate X opponents at Extreme Rules have to say; I will become World champion!
(Crowd boos)
Edge: Well, why don’t you try? I’ve been World champion 9 times, and that’s something you’ll never accomplish.
(Shelton grunts; walks to ring)
Referee: Ring the bell!
(Bell is rung; match starts).
Edge and Benjamin lock up right away. Edge backs Benjamin into the left corner, but Benjamin slides under Edge and hits a Pele kick from behind. Edge is left grasping the turnbuckle; Shelton bounces off the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Edge dodges the attack and Shelton is sent sprawling out of the ring.
Don West: Tune in after the commercial for more Smackdown action!
(Commercial break: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwNB9WEsRt4&feature=fvsr)
Styles: And we’re back on Smackdown, with Edge applying the headlock maneuver easily.
West: Look at Benjamin; he’s rolled Edge on his back.
Styles: During the commercial, Edge hit a Spear, and Benjamin hit the Paydirt. Both men could easily walk away with the victory.
(Don West’s cellphone rings)
West: Hello? Hi. Umm…it’s Edge vs. Benjamin…what?! You’ve changed the finals?! Okay, bye.
Styles: Who was that?
West: Smackdown General Manager The Rock. He called to tell the WWE Nation that instead of semi-finals, there will be a 4-man battle royal to determine his match at Extreme Rules. The next match will combine the 3 other qualifying matches into a 6-man gauntlet between John Cena, Gary Williams, Sting, Kevin Nash, A.J. Styles, and Charlie Haas. Cena and Haas will start, with a new competitor entering the ring every 30 seconds.
West: The final two fighters in the gauntlet will go on to the finals.
Styles: Wow! Wait…Benjamin’s going for a roll-up…but Edge kicks out. The Rated-R Superstar is gasping for breath, and Benjamin is going for a somersault neckbreaker…he’s in mid-air…Edge spears him from behind! Edge goes for the pin…1…2…no! Benjamin kicks out!
West: Both men have fought their hardest to please. They are both struggling to get up…wait a minute! It’s RVD! He’s climbing to the turnbuckle!
Styles: The ref’s trying to stop him, but RVD pushes him out of the way…Frog Splash! Frog Splash! The ref didn’t see!
West: Edge is capitalizing! The ref sees the pin! 1…2…3!
Mike Tenay: Your winner…Edge!
Styles: Would you look at that…Rob Van Dam cost Shelton Benjamin two wins over Edge in just two weeks!
West: You can see disappointment on Shelotn’s face…he really wanted to win.
(Shelton grabs a microphone)
Shelton: Rob. Van. Dam.
(Crowd cheers)
Shelton: You pinned me last week in the Elimination Chamber, and you cost me the chance to go to the Pick Your Poison match…Well, Rob, why don’t we have a match at Extreme Rules?
(Crowd chants “E-C-W!” “E-C-W!” “E-C-W!”)
(“Know Your Role” by Method Man plays, and out comes The Rock)
Rock: I’m sooo mad. I want to fight RVD. I wanna kill him. Take your damn complaints and stick them straight up…your candy-ass!
(Crowd erupts in a cheer)
Rock: The problem is, Benjamin, that you gave me no notice, since Extreme Rules is this Sunday. But, maybe…you could fight at the Bash…for the vacant Legends Championship, jabroni?
(Crowd chants: “RVD! RVD! RVD!”; Rock leaves)
Styles: It is going to be, at the Bash, Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin for the Legends Championship!
West: Wow! I can’t wait! This is going to be amazing!
Styles: It’s now time for the tag gauntlet!
Mean Gene: The following contest is a 6-tag team gauntlet. To win this match, you must pin or submit one member of every team excluding yours. The winners of this match will go on to face Team 3D in a Glass Table match at Extreme Rules.
(Kung Fu Naki plays; out comes Takuya Sugi and Masato Yoshino of The Japanese Experience)
Mean Gene: First, from Japan, at a combined weight of 312 pounds…they are Takuya Sugi and Masato Yooooooooooooooooooooooshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnooooooooooooo!
(Crowd cheers)
West: Seems as if Sugi and Ysohino are getting quite a reaction from the crowd.
Mean Gene: And, making their way from the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan, the Motor City Machine Gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss!
(Mixed reaction from crowd)
Styles: The Machine Guns seems to have excited the crowd.
West: Let’s get it on!
(Bell rings)
6-team tag gauntlet for #1 contendership for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Japanese Experience vs. Badass Punks vs. The Hardyz vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Mexican Suicide:
Takuya Sugi and Chris Sabin start the match. Sabin grabs Sugi in a headlock; Sugi throws Sabin against the ropes and goes for a spinning wheel kick, but Sabin squats low, runs to the ropes on the other side, bounces off, and goes for a clothesline. Takuya dodges the clothesline, runs to the ropes, and hit a Cyclone Elbow (moonsault off ropes with back elbow).
Sugi climbs the ropes; Sabin tries to knock him off, but Sugi does a no-handed cartwheel off the top rope, bounces off the ropes, and hits Chris with a tiger feint kick (619). He then goes a moonsault, but Sabin rolls out of the way, so Sugi lands on his feet and does a standing moonsault.
Takuya goes for the pin, but only gets a 2-count. He tags in Masato Yoshino, who quickly goes to work on the downed Sabin with a headlock, then lifts him up and does a Sling Blade (Sliced Bread #2 without ropes). He goes for the pin, and gets a 1-count. He tags in Takuya, who waits for Sabin to get up.
Meanwhile, Yoshino eyes Alex Shelley. He runs, grabs Shelley for a Hurricarana, and spins him around and flips him to the floor to execute a Speed Star. While Shelley is struggling to get up, Masato jumps from the apron, grabs Shelley, and hits a Lighting Spiral (grabs Shelley’s leg, puts him on his shoulders, and executes a fireman’s carry). Yoshino slides back into the ring; Chris Sabin has just gotten up. Sugi bounces off the ropes, and jumps on Yoshino’s back; Yoshino lifts up to propel Sugi, and he hits a corkscrew 450-degree cross-body.
Shelley is almost getting up, but Yoshino bounces off the opposite ropes and does a cartwheel, then turns it into a moonsault out of the ring.
The ref counts the pin (1,2,3!) and Team Japan gets the win.
Next up is the Badass Punks. They come into the ring to fight, but when Rhino Gores Yoshino, C.M. Punk tries to grab Takuya Sugi, but Sugi jumps onto Punk’s back, and flips him into a powerbomb pin for the win. Punk stares in disbelief at the referee, but he knows he is out of the gauntlet.
Up next: Mexican Sucide
Styles: Look! El Generico and Mil Mascaras! Mexican Suicide!
West: They’re brawling with Austin Aries and Jack Evans, Religion of ROH!
Styles: Austin Aries and El Generico are brawling while entering the ring! This is an opportunity Yoshino and Sugi shouldn’t miss out on!
Aries and Generico brawl outside the ring, but then Team Japan pulls them into the ring and start brawling with them. Not noticing, Jack Evans and Mil Mascaras fight on the ramp. Evans kicks Mil in the stomach and hits a corkscrew dropkick, sending Mascaras sprawling to the floor below the stag ramp. Evans dashes to the ring.
Meanwhile, Takuya Sugi Irish Whips Austin Aries at the ropes and spins him around to pull off a 1080-degree spin with a headscissors takedown. Jack Evans enter the ring and hits a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick (Trouble In Paradise). At the same time, El Generico sends Masato Yoshino to the ropes and throws him up in the air, but Yoshino grabs him in a cradle pin, and out goes Mexican Suicide.
Jack Evans climbs the ropes, ready to hit the 630-degree senton on Takuya, but Sugi moves and hits Aries with the senton. Realizing what just happened, Yoshino dropkicks Evans out of the ring, and Sugi goes for a pin. 1…2…3! Team Japan is exhausted, but there is one team left…The Hardyz!
(Crowd erupts when they hear “Loaded” by Zack Tempest, the Hardy Boyz’ theme song)
Styles: Takuya Sugi and Masato Yoshimo are dog-tired. Just look.
West: If they want the tag titles that badly, they will fight.
(No one comes out from backstage, but “Loaded” is still playing)
Styles: Where are the Hardyz?
West: Right behind the Japanese Experience!
(Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy spin Sugi and Yoshimo and execute Twist Of Fate; Jeff get the pin)
Mike Tenay: Your winners, and the #1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team Championship, The Hardyzz-
(Jeff and Matt pull off hair; it is Chris Jericho and Petey Williams)
Jericho: heh…You hypocrites are gullible. You thought we were the Hardyz? Yeah, right.
Petey: Now we have the chance to fight Team 3D at Extreme Rules, and we are going to win…
Jericho: The.
Petey: Canadian.
Jericho/Petey: Way.
(Jericho and Petey Williams leave ring)
West: What a statement from the Canadian Connection!
Styles: …Up next is the 6-man battle royal in the Pick Your Poison match. We’ll be back with more Smackdown action!
(Commercial break)
Pick Your Poison semi-finals: 6-man battle royal: John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Gary Williams vs. Kevin Nash vs. Sting vs. Charlie Haas:
All competitors start out in the ring. The bell rings, and the match is on.
Cena grabs Haas and throws him out of the ring immediately. The rules of a battle royal clearly states that elimination happens after a pinfall, submission, or both feet touch the ground after being thrown over the top rope. Kevin Nash does the same with Styles, but Styles sends himself through the middle rope without Nash noticing.
Sting, Gary Williams, Kevin Nash, and John Cena are left standing in the ring. Sting charges Gary Williams, but Williams tackles him before he can do anything. Nash and Cena trade punches, then Nash takes Cena out with a clothesline. Williams is beating down on Sting when Charlie Haas comes back and interferes, punting Williams, then beats down on Cena. Nash lifts Cena for an Outsider’s Edge over the top rope; Haas runs, bounces off the ropes, then propel himself over Nash to hit Cena with a flying clothesline.
Cena is now eliminated from the match.
Nash and Haas proceed to beat down on Gary Williams, when Styles slides into the ring and dropkicks Haas over the rope, then hits a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick on Nash, who is beating on Gary Williams, sending him over the ropes and out to the floor.
Sting pushes Styles, thinking that he is eliminated, but Styles points to the Titantron, showing the footage of him flying through the middle rope. Williams struggles to get up, but Sting slaps Styles, and sets Williams up on the top rope; Styles is enraged and charges at Sting for a headscissors, but Sting sends him into the air, with Styles hitting the “Wildman” out of the ring.
Sting and Styles brawl; Sting sends Styles to the ropes, but Styles leaps into a flying enziguri and hits Sting.
Mean Gene: The following contest is a triple threat match, and the winner’s selection in the Smackdown Spin will determine the match type for the TNA World title match at Extreme Rules.
(“Metalingus” plays, and Edge dashes to the ring”)
Mean Gene: The Rated-R Superstar, Edgggggggggggee!
(Of course, no one notices at first, because of Sting and A.J., but they cheer when Edge enters the ring).
Styles has Sting set up for a Styles Clash, but Edge spears Sting and knocks A.J. over, then pins Sting. Styles runs and jumps off the ropes with a moonsault, landing full impact on Edge. Since there are no-DQ’s, Styles gets two steel chairs, places one under Sting’s head, and gives the other to Edge. The Rated-R Superstar hits Styles with the chair, and then executes the Chair-Con-To to Sting. He goes for the pin…1…2...no! Sting kicks out!
At this point, Edge is enraged. He wants Angle destroyed. He sits in the corner, and waits for Sting to get up, but when Edge sprints, Styles flies at the Rated-R Superstar with a springboard forearm smash. It hits Edge, but it doesn’t faze him, as he spears both the flying Styles and Sting. The damage is done; Edge is down, and it seems as if Styles will capitalize on this opportunity to win. Styles grabs Sting’s leg and waits for the ref to count the pin.
But before the ref’s hand hits the floor for three, Edge rolls Styles up for the pin and the win.
Mike Tenay: Here is your winner, Edge!
(Edge grabs a microphone)
Edge *panting*: Angle, there will be no escape, because in the Thundercage, you will be left for the vultures to feast on.
(Edge collapses)
West: Edge has now gotten into Angle’s head; he wants vengeance.
Styles: What is going to happen at Extreme Rules? Tune in this Sunday to find out if Angle loses the title, or the electricity runs out for the Rock!
Second Card: 9/5: 48 hours from Extreme Rules
This is it. The revolutionary idea from Vince McMahon. The Smackdown Spin!
There will be 8 competitors: 4 from New Event Mafia (Sting, Kevin Nash, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas) and 4 competitors from The People’s Alliance (Gary Williams, Edge, John Cena, and AJ Styles) that will spin the roulette and pick the match for Rock vs. Kurt Angle at Extreme Rules for the TNA title.
Tune in to Smackdown Xplosion to see what kind of stipulation(s) the Smackdown GM and the Olympic Gold Medalist will fight with.
Joey Styles (in ring): Welcome to Smackdown Xplosion! I’m in the ring with 4 members from New Main Event, Sting, Kevin Nash, Shelton Benjamin, and Charlie Haas, who are representing Kurt Angle, and 4 members from the People’s Alliance, “Wildman” Gary Williams, “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, “The Doctor Of Thuganomics” John Cena, and the Phenomenal AJ Styles!
(Crowd cheers)
Styles: So, here I have a roulette (points to roulette). There are 8 matches; a Hangman’s Horror match, a two-out-of-three falls match, a Crazy 8 match, a Triple Cage match, a Final Wars Brawl, a Thundercage match, an Electrified Cage match…
(Crowd roars; chant, “Shock Angle!” “Shock Angle!”)
Styles: At last, but not least, a Taipei Deathmactttttttttttttttttttttttth! There will be a tournament tonight to determine the match type for Angle vs. Rock.
(Crowd erupts into a giant cheer of “E-C-W!”)
Styles: The first person to roll will be AJ Styles for The Rock.
(AJ Styles spins the roulette)
AJ: I got the Crazy 8 match!
Styles: The Crazy 8 match is a wrestling match that will use the Elevation X, one side of the steel cage, two trampolines, and rope swings. Not exactly Kurt Angle’s cup of tea, nor is it the Rock’s, but this match is sure to main event Extreme Rules.
Styles: Now spinning for Angle… Sting!
(Sting spins the roulette)
Sting: I have the Taipei Deathmatch.
(Crowd cheers)
Styles: The Taipei Deathmatch is a match originated from ECW. In this match, both competitors’ hands are wrapped in tape, then covered with glue and broken glass. This match could also be considered a main event for Sunday.
Styles: Now…it’s John Cena’s turn to spin the roulette.
(Cena spins the roulette)
Cena: I have the Final Wars Brawl.
Styles: For those of you that don’t know already, the Final Wars Brawl starts out with Angle and our General Manager in a steel cage for 30 minutes. After those 30 minutes are up, two wrestlers, one helping the Rock, one helping Angle, will enter the cage. Every five minutes, two other competitors will enter the cage.
Styles: Kevin Nash is now going to choose his match by spinning the roulette.
(Nash spins the roulette)
Nash: I have…the Electrified Cage.
(Crowd chants, “Shock Angle!” “Shock Angle”)
Styles: The Electrified cage a variation of the steel cage…electrocuted. Every 30 seconds, the electricity is turned on, and then turned off after it’s been on for 30 seconds. Wait another 30 seconds, and the cage will be electrocuted again.
Styles: Spinning the roulette for The Rock is Edge!
(Edge spins the roulette)
Edge: I have picked the Thundercage.
Styles: Straight from WCW, the Thundercage is a structure of steel enclosing the ring, and the sides curve in to prevent escape. The only way to win is to have a “teriminator” that will throw in the towel for you.
Styles: Rolling for Angle…Shelton Benjaminnnnnn!
(Benjamin rolls the roulette)
Benjamin: I have the Hangman’s Horror match.
Styles: That match is a bit more extreme than most, as it involves hanging your opponent with a dog collar until they are unconscious.
Styles: The “Wildman” Gary Williams is now spinning for The Rock.
(Williams spins the roulette)
Williams: I have the Triple Cage match.
Styles: The Triple Cage match is a match with three cages stacked on top of each other, with each cage getting smaller as the wrestlers get up higher in altitude. The TNA World Heavyweight Championship is suspended above the third cage at the top, and to win the match, one of the competitors must grab the title.
Styles: The last match is a two-out-of-three falls match that Charlie Haas will fight for. The first wrestler to get two pinfalls is declared the winner.
Styles: Now, here are the matches each wrestler will fight for, and the tournament layout.
· Kevin Nash: Electrified Cage
· Sting: Tapei Deathmatch
· Gary Williams: Triple Cage
· Shelton Benjamin: Hangman’s Horror
· Charlie Haas: Two out of Three Falls
· Edge: Thundercage
· John Cena: Final Wars Brawl
· AJ Styles: Crazy 8 match
Layout:
John Cena vs. Kevin Nash--------- (Tuxedo match)
Gary Williams vs. Sting------------
Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin--------------- (Ultimate X match)
AJ Styles vs. Charlie Haas----------------
Styles: And that’s not all! There will be a gauntlet involving The Hardyz, Motor City Machine Guns, Badass Punks, Mexican Suicide, and Religion of ROH in a 5-team gauntlet. We’ll be back in a moment.
(Commercial Break)
Todd Grisham: Weclome back to Smackdown Xplosion! I am here, tonight, with the “Gold Standard”, and quite possibly, the rising star since joining New Event Mafia, Shelton Benjamin.
Grisham: Benjamin, right after this interview, you go head-to-head with the “Rated R Superstar” Edge. Will Angle get electrocuted or hung?
Benjamin: It’s not Angle that will feel pain; it’s that has-been Rock. Everywhere I go, I hear, “Oh, The Rock will lay the smackdown on you!” “Rock could destroy Angle!” “Rock could take the New Event Mafia and stick it straight up your candy-ass!” Tonight, I will prove why I am the Gold Standard, because at the Great American Bash, I challenge the winner of Kurt Angle and The Rock!
Grisham: Now, before you go, how do you feel about the merge?
Benjamin: The merge has definitely raised my career. I am grateful to Angle, but there is only one goal for me; becoming WWE Champion. Besides, that merge shouldn’t have happened, because WWE now has that washed-up RVD.
(Crowd boos)
Benjamin: The only way Van Dam can beat me, is by getting half of the Smackdown roster to beat me up. That’s not a legitimate win!
Grisham: Thank you for your time.
Benjamin: Whatever.
Pick Your Poison Tournament Match: Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin:
Tenay: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring…the Rated R Superstar, Edge!
(Edge comes out to “Metalingus”; crowd cheers; Edge enter ring with mic)
Edge: Now I don’t know if you people know, but my opponent is in an Ultimate X match at Extreme Rules against The Amazing, Suicide, and Rey Mysterio.
(Crowd pops for Rey)
Edge: Why don’t we think about this for a second? He has the Ultimate X match for the Intercontinental title, the New Event Mafia that are trying to bring him to the top, you fans that hate his guts, a pissed off Rob Van Dam (I know what that’s like), and his opponent tonight, who would like to destroy Kurt Angle and his band of wussies…me.
(Crowd chants “Edge!” “Edge!” “Edge!” Edge!”)
Edge: So I have a proposal for The Rock; why don’t we let Shelton Benjamin take a rest for the night, and I can…you know…move on to the Ultimate X match, maybe…I dunn-
(Shelton comes out to “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Me (Remix)”)
Benjamin: I’m not giving up my chance to please the Godfather! I don’t care what RVD, you, The Rock, these people, or even my Ultimate X opponents at Extreme Rules have to say; I will become World champion!
(Crowd boos)
Edge: Well, why don’t you try? I’ve been World champion 9 times, and that’s something you’ll never accomplish.
(Shelton grunts; walks to ring)
Referee: Ring the bell!
(Bell is rung; match starts).
Edge and Benjamin lock up right away. Edge backs Benjamin into the left corner, but Benjamin slides under Edge and hits a Pele kick from behind. Edge is left grasping the turnbuckle; Shelton bounces off the ropes and goes for a dropkick, but Edge dodges the attack and Shelton is sent sprawling out of the ring.
Don West: Tune in after the commercial for more Smackdown action!
(Commercial break: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwNB9WEsRt4&feature=fvsr)
Styles: And we’re back on Smackdown, with Edge applying the headlock maneuver easily.
West: Look at Benjamin; he’s rolled Edge on his back.
Styles: During the commercial, Edge hit a Spear, and Benjamin hit the Paydirt. Both men could easily walk away with the victory.
(Don West’s cellphone rings)
West: Hello? Hi. Umm…it’s Edge vs. Benjamin…what?! You’ve changed the finals?! Okay, bye.
Styles: Who was that?
West: Smackdown General Manager The Rock. He called to tell the WWE Nation that instead of semi-finals, there will be a 4-man battle royal to determine his match at Extreme Rules. The next match will combine the 3 other qualifying matches into a 6-man gauntlet between John Cena, Gary Williams, Sting, Kevin Nash, A.J. Styles, and Charlie Haas. Cena and Haas will start, with a new competitor entering the ring every 30 seconds.
West: The final two fighters in the gauntlet will go on to the finals.
Styles: Wow! Wait…Benjamin’s going for a roll-up…but Edge kicks out. The Rated-R Superstar is gasping for breath, and Benjamin is going for a somersault neckbreaker…he’s in mid-air…Edge spears him from behind! Edge goes for the pin…1…2…no! Benjamin kicks out!
West: Both men have fought their hardest to please. They are both struggling to get up…wait a minute! It’s RVD! He’s climbing to the turnbuckle!
Styles: The ref’s trying to stop him, but RVD pushes him out of the way…Frog Splash! Frog Splash! The ref didn’t see!
West: Edge is capitalizing! The ref sees the pin! 1…2…3!
Mike Tenay: Your winner…Edge!
Styles: Would you look at that…Rob Van Dam cost Shelton Benjamin two wins over Edge in just two weeks!
West: You can see disappointment on Shelotn’s face…he really wanted to win.
(Shelton grabs a microphone)
Shelton: Rob. Van. Dam.
(Crowd cheers)
Shelton: You pinned me last week in the Elimination Chamber, and you cost me the chance to go to the Pick Your Poison match…Well, Rob, why don’t we have a match at Extreme Rules?
(Crowd chants “E-C-W!” “E-C-W!” “E-C-W!”)
(“Know Your Role” by Method Man plays, and out comes The Rock)
Rock: I’m sooo mad. I want to fight RVD. I wanna kill him. Take your damn complaints and stick them straight up…your candy-ass!
(Crowd erupts in a cheer)
Rock: The problem is, Benjamin, that you gave me no notice, since Extreme Rules is this Sunday. But, maybe…you could fight at the Bash…for the vacant Legends Championship, jabroni?
(Crowd chants: “RVD! RVD! RVD!”; Rock leaves)
Styles: It is going to be, at the Bash, Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin for the Legends Championship!
West: Wow! I can’t wait! This is going to be amazing!
Styles: It’s now time for the tag gauntlet!
Mean Gene: The following contest is a 6-tag team gauntlet. To win this match, you must pin or submit one member of every team excluding yours. The winners of this match will go on to face Team 3D in a Glass Table match at Extreme Rules.
(Kung Fu Naki plays; out comes Takuya Sugi and Masato Yoshino of The Japanese Experience)
Mean Gene: First, from Japan, at a combined weight of 312 pounds…they are Takuya Sugi and Masato Yooooooooooooooooooooooshhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnooooooooooooo!
(Crowd cheers)
West: Seems as if Sugi and Ysohino are getting quite a reaction from the crowd.
Mean Gene: And, making their way from the Motor City, Detroit, Michigan, the Motor City Machine Gunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss!
(Mixed reaction from crowd)
Styles: The Machine Guns seems to have excited the crowd.
West: Let’s get it on!
(Bell rings)
6-team tag gauntlet for #1 contendership for the WWE Tag Team Championship: The Japanese Experience vs. Badass Punks vs. The Hardyz vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Mexican Suicide:
Takuya Sugi and Chris Sabin start the match. Sabin grabs Sugi in a headlock; Sugi throws Sabin against the ropes and goes for a spinning wheel kick, but Sabin squats low, runs to the ropes on the other side, bounces off, and goes for a clothesline. Takuya dodges the clothesline, runs to the ropes, and hit a Cyclone Elbow (moonsault off ropes with back elbow).
Sugi climbs the ropes; Sabin tries to knock him off, but Sugi does a no-handed cartwheel off the top rope, bounces off the ropes, and hits Chris with a tiger feint kick (619). He then goes a moonsault, but Sabin rolls out of the way, so Sugi lands on his feet and does a standing moonsault.
Takuya goes for the pin, but only gets a 2-count. He tags in Masato Yoshino, who quickly goes to work on the downed Sabin with a headlock, then lifts him up and does a Sling Blade (Sliced Bread #2 without ropes). He goes for the pin, and gets a 1-count. He tags in Takuya, who waits for Sabin to get up.
Meanwhile, Yoshino eyes Alex Shelley. He runs, grabs Shelley for a Hurricarana, and spins him around and flips him to the floor to execute a Speed Star. While Shelley is struggling to get up, Masato jumps from the apron, grabs Shelley, and hits a Lighting Spiral (grabs Shelley’s leg, puts him on his shoulders, and executes a fireman’s carry). Yoshino slides back into the ring; Chris Sabin has just gotten up. Sugi bounces off the ropes, and jumps on Yoshino’s back; Yoshino lifts up to propel Sugi, and he hits a corkscrew 450-degree cross-body.
Shelley is almost getting up, but Yoshino bounces off the opposite ropes and does a cartwheel, then turns it into a moonsault out of the ring.
The ref counts the pin (1,2,3!) and Team Japan gets the win.
Next up is the Badass Punks. They come into the ring to fight, but when Rhino Gores Yoshino, C.M. Punk tries to grab Takuya Sugi, but Sugi jumps onto Punk’s back, and flips him into a powerbomb pin for the win. Punk stares in disbelief at the referee, but he knows he is out of the gauntlet.
Up next: Mexican Sucide
Styles: Look! El Generico and Mil Mascaras! Mexican Suicide!
West: They’re brawling with Austin Aries and Jack Evans, Religion of ROH!
Styles: Austin Aries and El Generico are brawling while entering the ring! This is an opportunity Yoshino and Sugi shouldn’t miss out on!
Aries and Generico brawl outside the ring, but then Team Japan pulls them into the ring and start brawling with them. Not noticing, Jack Evans and Mil Mascaras fight on the ramp. Evans kicks Mil in the stomach and hits a corkscrew dropkick, sending Mascaras sprawling to the floor below the stag ramp. Evans dashes to the ring.
Meanwhile, Takuya Sugi Irish Whips Austin Aries at the ropes and spins him around to pull off a 1080-degree spin with a headscissors takedown. Jack Evans enter the ring and hits a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick (Trouble In Paradise). At the same time, El Generico sends Masato Yoshino to the ropes and throws him up in the air, but Yoshino grabs him in a cradle pin, and out goes Mexican Suicide.
Jack Evans climbs the ropes, ready to hit the 630-degree senton on Takuya, but Sugi moves and hits Aries with the senton. Realizing what just happened, Yoshino dropkicks Evans out of the ring, and Sugi goes for a pin. 1…2…3! Team Japan is exhausted, but there is one team left…The Hardyz!
(Crowd erupts when they hear “Loaded” by Zack Tempest, the Hardy Boyz’ theme song)
Styles: Takuya Sugi and Masato Yoshimo are dog-tired. Just look.
West: If they want the tag titles that badly, they will fight.
(No one comes out from backstage, but “Loaded” is still playing)
Styles: Where are the Hardyz?
West: Right behind the Japanese Experience!
(Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy spin Sugi and Yoshimo and execute Twist Of Fate; Jeff get the pin)
Mike Tenay: Your winners, and the #1 contenders for the WWE Tag Team Championship, The Hardyzz-
(Jeff and Matt pull off hair; it is Chris Jericho and Petey Williams)
Jericho: heh…You hypocrites are gullible. You thought we were the Hardyz? Yeah, right.
Petey: Now we have the chance to fight Team 3D at Extreme Rules, and we are going to win…
Jericho: The.
Petey: Canadian.
Jericho/Petey: Way.
(Jericho and Petey Williams leave ring)
West: What a statement from the Canadian Connection!
Styles: …Up next is the 6-man battle royal in the Pick Your Poison match. We’ll be back with more Smackdown action!
(Commercial break)
Pick Your Poison semi-finals: 6-man battle royal: John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Gary Williams vs. Kevin Nash vs. Sting vs. Charlie Haas:
All competitors start out in the ring. The bell rings, and the match is on.
Cena grabs Haas and throws him out of the ring immediately. The rules of a battle royal clearly states that elimination happens after a pinfall, submission, or both feet touch the ground after being thrown over the top rope. Kevin Nash does the same with Styles, but Styles sends himself through the middle rope without Nash noticing.
Sting, Gary Williams, Kevin Nash, and John Cena are left standing in the ring. Sting charges Gary Williams, but Williams tackles him before he can do anything. Nash and Cena trade punches, then Nash takes Cena out with a clothesline. Williams is beating down on Sting when Charlie Haas comes back and interferes, punting Williams, then beats down on Cena. Nash lifts Cena for an Outsider’s Edge over the top rope; Haas runs, bounces off the ropes, then propel himself over Nash to hit Cena with a flying clothesline.
Cena is now eliminated from the match.
Nash and Haas proceed to beat down on Gary Williams, when Styles slides into the ring and dropkicks Haas over the rope, then hits a jumping corkscrew roundhouse kick on Nash, who is beating on Gary Williams, sending him over the ropes and out to the floor.
Sting pushes Styles, thinking that he is eliminated, but Styles points to the Titantron, showing the footage of him flying through the middle rope. Williams struggles to get up, but Sting slaps Styles, and sets Williams up on the top rope; Styles is enraged and charges at Sting for a headscissors, but Sting sends him into the air, with Styles hitting the “Wildman” out of the ring.
Sting and Styles brawl; Sting sends Styles to the ropes, but Styles leaps into a flying enziguri and hits Sting.
Mean Gene: The following contest is a triple threat match, and the winner’s selection in the Smackdown Spin will determine the match type for the TNA World title match at Extreme Rules.
(“Metalingus” plays, and Edge dashes to the ring”)
Mean Gene: The Rated-R Superstar, Edgggggggggggee!
(Of course, no one notices at first, because of Sting and A.J., but they cheer when Edge enters the ring).
Styles has Sting set up for a Styles Clash, but Edge spears Sting and knocks A.J. over, then pins Sting. Styles runs and jumps off the ropes with a moonsault, landing full impact on Edge. Since there are no-DQ’s, Styles gets two steel chairs, places one under Sting’s head, and gives the other to Edge. The Rated-R Superstar hits Styles with the chair, and then executes the Chair-Con-To to Sting. He goes for the pin…1…2...no! Sting kicks out!
At this point, Edge is enraged. He wants Angle destroyed. He sits in the corner, and waits for Sting to get up, but when Edge sprints, Styles flies at the Rated-R Superstar with a springboard forearm smash. It hits Edge, but it doesn’t faze him, as he spears both the flying Styles and Sting. The damage is done; Edge is down, and it seems as if Styles will capitalize on this opportunity to win. Styles grabs Sting’s leg and waits for the ref to count the pin.
But before the ref’s hand hits the floor for three, Edge rolls Styles up for the pin and the win.
Mike Tenay: Here is your winner, Edge!
(Edge grabs a microphone)
Edge *panting*: Angle, there will be no escape, because in the Thundercage, you will be left for the vultures to feast on.
(Edge collapses)
West: Edge has now gotten into Angle’s head; he wants vengeance.
Styles: What is going to happen at Extreme Rules? Tune in this Sunday to find out if Angle loses the title, or the electricity runs out for the Rock!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Smackdown Xplosion: 5/29: 9 days before Extreme Rules
*pyrotechnics*
(Smackdown theme, “Hail Destroyer” plays)
Joey Styles: Welcome to the first edition of Smackdown since the WWE/TNA merge. I’m Joey Styles, and please welcome my announce partner, the great Don West from TNA Impact!
Don West: Thanks, Joey, and what a hell of a show we have tonight. We’ve got the Latin American Xchange (LAX) versus the newly-formed tag team, Badass Punks, composed of CM Punk and the “War Machine” Rhyno. But that’s not the only tag match tonight; there will be a 8-team gauntlet for the WWE Unified Tag Team Championship. The defending champions Team 3D a.k.a The Dudleyz will fight off 7 other tag teams.
Styles: Two teams enter. One team wins. Then the next team comes out. This will keep happening until we have one team left standing.
West: You better hope Team 3D doesn’t lose their titles to the Hardy Boyz!
Styles: The Hardy Boyz?!
West: Yeah, Jeff and Matt saw past their differences, and now if Team 3D loses the titles to them before the Great American Bash, then Team 3D are the new color commentators.
Styles: Damn you, Teddy Long!
(Styles enters the ring with a microphone; Don West is surprised)
Styles: Long! Get your ass out here so I can whoop your ass the E-C-W way!
(Crowd: E-C-W! E-C-W! E-C-W!)
West: This is a side of Joey Styles the wrestling world has never seen before. When someone makes a decision concerning his job, he gets pissed *laughs*.
(Long comes out to “Holla Holla Holla”)
Long: What’s the problem, playa?
Styles: I could lose my employment because of your half-headed decisions! Team 3D better not lose their titles to the Hardyz!
Long: Oh, that’s what you’re mad about. Well, now, at the Great American Bash, if the Hardy Boyz lose to Team 3D, then they are the new announce team!
Styles: That means that I’m out of a job after the Great American Bash!
Long: I never said to Vince McMahon I wanted a washed-up ECW announcer. Or a TNA reject either, playa.
(Crowd is mad; boos)
Long: Team 3D and The Hardy Boyz have more experience than both-
It is now time for your judgment, Teddy Long.
Long: What the hell, playa?
He who knows your sins shall eradicate you from his holy
West: Is this “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels?
No, but it is a legend of the squared ring.
(Mean Gene Okerlund comes out to the ramp to a big pop)
Gene: I know you may think I’m going to throw Teddy Long out of Smackdown, but I can’t (*clears throat*).
(Crowd groans)
Gene: But, this man can. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, the face of Smackdown; TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTThhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhe Rock!
(Crowd goes wild)
The Rock comes out to a huge standing ovation. He then enters the ring and engages in a tug-of-war with Teddy Long’s microphone until he has it.
Rock: Finnnnnnaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… The Rock has come back to... *points microphone at crowd*
Crowd: Smackdown!
Rock: Iffffffffffffffffffffffff ya smeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll…
Rock/Crowd: What The Rock. Is. Cooking
(Crowd cheers)
Rock: Teddy Long, I NEVER liked you because you disturbed the balance of The Great One’s brand ever since you became General Manager of Smackdown, you sorry, bottom of the barrel, sumbitch!
Long: What was that?!
Rock: You heard me, you pathetic excuse for a general manager! (Crowd claps ecstatically) So, you know what we’re going to have as an extra match tonight?
Long: Now hold on, Rock. You-
Rock: It doesn’t matter what we’re going to have as an extra match tonight!
(Crowd goes wild)
Styles: Actually, Rock, it does-
Rock: No, it doesn’t.
Styles: Well, tonight, by order of WWE Chairman Mr. McMahon, it will be Smackdown GM Teddy Long vs. The Rock for the title of Smackdown General Manager.
(Crowd cheers; they love it)
Rock: Junior, when’s the match? ...Oh damn.
Styles: It doesn’t matter when the match is!
Rock: Yes, it does! Do I HAVE to wait to kick the monkey-crap out of this weasel (*points to Teddy*)?
Styles: Actually, you don’t.
Rock: Teddy Long, you’re done.
(Rock grabs Long and hits the Rock Bottom on the Smackdown GM)
Styles: We need a ref out here, quick!
(Earl Hebner runs from the locker room)
Earl (counting The Rock’s pin): 1…2…3!
Mike Tenay (announcer): Here is your winner, and new Smackdown General Manager, TTTTTTTTTTTTTThhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee Rock!
Rock poses for the crowd.
Rock: Now, for the Tag Team Championship feud… whichever team loses at the Great American Bash will broadcast the show alongside Don West and The People’s Color Commentator… Joey Styles!
(Rock leaves ring)
Rock: Before I go, I came back to the WWE for two reasons. One, for Smackdown. Two, to lay the smack down on Kurt Angle! So watch out, New Event Mafia!
West: New Event Mafia?!
Styles: You know some things about the new Smackdown; so do I. Let’s watch this video starring the new members of the Main Event Mafia, now known as the New Event Mafia
(Video shows every member of MEM excluding Scott Steiner and Booker T, and the newest members, World’s Greatest Tag Team and Maryse)
West: So Angle is building on Main Event Mafia’s popularity to boost Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, and Maryse. Can’t say I expected that to happen.
Styles: Well, now that you know about the New Event Mafia, I can now tell the WWE Universe about which members are competing…tonight!
Styles: Maryse is tagging up with Canadian Connection member Chris Jericho to take on The Undertaker and Layla in a mixed-tag match. Sting will go up against newly-signed “Wildman” Gary Williams, and Angle, Benjamin, Haas, and Nash will face Mr. Money In The Bank and X Division Champion John Cena, “The Rated-R Superstar” Edge, and the newest team on the block, the high-flying Kofi Kingston and Rob Van Dam.
Don West: Wow! Those are some great matches to elevate the New Event Mafia! We’ll be back after a word from our sponsors.
(Commercial Break: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij2Xbu-XhCI)
Styles: Welcome back to Smackdown a.k.a “The Rock’s brand”. Don is WWE actually sponsored by a condom company?
Don: Nah, only Smackdown. Besides, I get free ones.
Styles: So you get Smackdown some sponsorship from a condom company just for your own personal asset of sex protections tools?!
Don: Pretty much.
Styles: You’re worse than Teddy Long!
Don: Well, what else should I do, buy condoms at a convenience store at
Styles: Umm… never mind. Anyways, here comes our first pre-scheduled match of the night, LAX and the Badass Punks duel it out.
Mean Gene: The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall. The winner of this match will earn the last spot in Team 3D’s 6-team gauntlet.
(LAX comes out to “To Live and Die in LAX”; crowd whoops)
Homicide: Hernandez, why these people hatin’ on us? (Crowd boos at that) We got better cheers in TNA before we had to come to… this…dump (looks at floor in a disgusted way).
Hernandez: Yeah, man, they don’t like us, don’t like us at all.
(Crowd is enraged and is ready to rip LAX’s heads off)
Homicide: I can’t wait for Vince to hand us our pink slip; then we out!
Hernandez: Yeah, but-
(Deathbringer from the Sky plays and CM Punk with Rhyno comes out)
Punk: I don’t think you guys understand these people (points his finger at the crowd) when they say “get out”.
(Crowd erupts; cheers)
Rhyno: Now wait here, Punk; I don’t think they understand what you said-
Homicide: You gringos gonna talk or are you gonna fight?
Rhyno: We’re teaching them PERSONALLY.
(Punk and Rhyno rush to the ring)
The bell rings and the match is on between LAX and BP
Match #1: Badass Punks (CM Punk & Rhyno) vs. Latin American Xchange (Homicide & Hernandez): Winner takes last place in Team 3D Tag Team gauntlet
Once Punk and Rhyno enter the ring, they proceed to beat down on LAX, Punk fighting off the high-flying Homicide, Rhyno spearing Hernandez. Rhyno then pins Hernandez…but no! Homicide hits a flying somersault from the top rope.
Since Homicide hit Rhyno, the impact was forced onto Hernandez, so Hernandez couldn’t get up. Both men are dazed, then Rhyno started a punching battle. Back and forth the giant wrestlers punched until Hernandez got the advantage with a gut punch.
The LAX big man Irish Whips Rhyno while Homicide pulls down on the rope, making Rhyno fall out of the ring. While the War Machine struggles to get up, Hernandez goes for his patented Big Man Dive, but botches the move so it turns into a front flip. Rhyno dodges and the big man lands back first on the edge of the announce table.
(Commercial break: During commercial, Punk comes to Rhyno’s aid, but Homicide goes for a cutter (RKO) on Punk and is about to hit the Cutter when Punk holds Homicide with his head, grabs him, pulls him up in a fireman’s carry, and finishes the LAX high-flyer with a Go To Sleep).
Styles: And we’re back on Smackdown Xplosion! LAX and the Badass Punks were brawling on the outside, and C.M. Punk hit an amazing GTS to Homicide. Now, all competitors are sprawled on the outside of the ring.
West: Wait! Punk’s getting up, and so is Rhyno! So is LAX!
Styles: Hernandez slides into the ring while Rhyno tags in Punk. Punk tries to grab the muscle of LAX, but The Mexican Superman grabs the Straight Edge Superstar from behind and goes for a Border Toss!
West: Rhyno realizes this…and, wait! The War Machine is on the top rope! Gore! Gore! Goooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!
Styles: Punk is literally out! Rhyno with another Gore to Homicide on the apron, knocking him with enough impact to send him sprawling over the barricade behind him.
West: The crowd is ecstatic! Rhyno goes back the corner to tag CM Punk’s foot, and goes for the pin. 1…2… no! Hernandez kicks out!
(Crowd boos)
Styles: Now, Rhyno is in Badass Punks’corner to the right. Without the War Machine knowing, Punk tags himself in. The ref sees this, but is too busy arguing with the injured Homicide on the outside. Homicide, jumps to the apron, shoves the ref, tags Hernandez who is in LAX’s corner, and then goes for a frog splash/cross-body on the charging War Machine.
West: I think the legal man, Punk, sees that! Homicide jumps, but Rhyno ducks in time for a Gore on Hernandez. CM Punk rushes into the ring to barely catch Homicide on his shoulders. Homicide tries to make Punk lose his balance, and almost hits a Hurricarana from behind, when Punk grabs him into an Electric Chair Drop position…and yes! Punk hits an amazing GTS!
Styles: Mr. Money In The Bank goes for the pin!
Referee: 1…2…3!
Mean Gene: Your winners, CM Punk and Rhyno, the Badass Punks!
West: That was an amazing, and it shows how the merge has elevated these competitors’ career! I mean, Joey, you had to have loved Punk’s GTS reversed from Homicide’s Gringo “Cutta”, then again from an Electric Chair position!
Styles: Now onto our next match, Chris Jericho and Mar-
West: There’s
(
Cena: You better back yourself your statement up.
(
West: Chris Jericho with a Codebreaker! Oh my god!
Styles: Here comes
West: Big Boot to the face! Wait! Here comes Sting!
Styles: He’s trying to take the Undertaker out for good!
Sting: C’mon, big guy! Hang up your damn boots!
Undertaker: I will not fall to a mortal man!
(Undertaker and Sting brawl)
(The Kardinal Sinners (Gary Williams and Mike Hughes) come out to the ramp)
Mike Hughes: Yes! We found him!
Gary Williams: You idiot! You were supposed to make sure he stayed knocked out! Attack him!
(Crowd chants: “Sinners!” “Sinners!” “Sinners!”)
(Mike Hughes tackles Sting)
West: Holy shit! Is this a brawl?
Styles: It certainly looks like it!
West: Well, I’m going to help Sting!
(Don West runs to the ramp)
Styles: Stop!!
West: NO!
(West gets hit with Trouble in
Styles: Oh... this is absolutely a riot!
(Styles drags West back to the announce table)
Styles: This is getting ugly… fast! Oh, here comes Team Jarrett, The Hardy Boyz, Motor City Machine Guns, and the TNA Frontline!
AJ Styles: Get off the Deadman!
(AJ hits a Pele Kick on Sting)
Jeff Hardy: Matt, let’s take care of that scumbag leaning against the Titantron!
Chris Jericho: Who, me? No…please, Jeff; you would act in a better manner, right? Right?
Jeff: Nah. Get him!
(The Hardy Boyz attack Chris Jericho and hits a Rapture)
Alex Shelley: You know, Chris, I’m bored.
Chris Sabin: So am I!
John Morrison: Here comes Bubba Ray and
Alex: Let’s brawl!
(Team Jarrett and Motor City Machine Guns attack Team 3D, MCMG hits the ASCS Rush)
(“Know Your Role” by Method Man plays, and Smackdown GM The Rock comes out)
Rock: Hold everything!
(A group of security come to collect Cena,
Rock: Now, since you jabronis (Hardy Boys, Undertaker, AJ Styles, Chris Daniels, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Team 3D, Kardinal Sinners, Team Jarrett) like to fight the unsanctioned way, here’s what we’ll do; a 7-on-6 fight!
(Kurt Angle’s music, “I Don’t Suck”, hits and he enters with Kevin Nash)
Angle: Nash and I will balance out the teams; an 8-on-8 match, with Nash, the Kardinal Sinners, Team 3D, Undertaker, and myself, versus the rest of you punks.
Rock: Punks?!
Angle: Yeah.
Rock: I DON’T LIKE YOU, Angle. Neither do my Superstars. And do you know what that means?
Angle: Wha-
Rock: It doesn’t matter what it means!
(Crowd cannot stop cheering)
Sabin: What it means, Kurt Angle, is that we’re going to fight you, and Kevin Nash. ALL of us.
Rock: I’m layin’ the smackdown on you, jabroni!
(Angle and Nash get mauled with Twist of Fate, Styles Clash, 3-D, etc.)
Rock: Now, Jeff and Matt, bring these jabronis to the ring! Jeff Jarett, you’re replacing John Cena.
(Edge’s music, “Metalingus” hits and out comes Edge, RVD and
(World’s Greatest Team comes in secretly and get hit with running lariats from Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin. The Motor City Machine Guns roll Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas into the ring)
Edge: What do we do?
Rock: Whatever the hell you want!
(Chamber lowers; bell rings)
(Edge sets up Kurt Angle for a Spear, Jeff Jarrett is throw a guitar from the Rock and gets ready for an Acoustic Equalizer, and Rob Van Dam and Kofi Kingston jump to the chambers, ready to hit a Frog Splash and a Leg Drop. )
(One by one, Team Edge hit their finishers, Edge with a Spear, then the pin; Jeff Jarrett with an Acoustic Equalizer, then a pin; RVD jumps and lands stomach first on Charlie Haas, then pins him. Finally, Kofi Kingston hits a double leg drop on Shelton Benjamin, and finishes the match with a pin)
Mean Gene: Your winners, Team Eddddddddddggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggge!
(Crowd claps, cheers, anything to show their appreciation; Edge grabs a microphone)
Edge: We will make sure Kurt Angle and the New Event Mafia do anything to take control of Smackdown. We are The People’s
Styles: And there you have it, folks! Tune in next week to see what happens!
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